November 2011
19 posts
I tell you the depression is back…I tell you I want to cut…and what are you doing? Playing Modern Warfare 3. And when I explain why that makes me upset, you tell me I’m making you mad. I just can’t even explain how much that hurt. I’m telling you I wanna cut and you’re sitting there playing video games.
I'm trying so hard to fix things.
You should know I’m not one to give up.
I want to be skinny.
because i want to look cute with a belly ring.
because i want to look good in that little black dress.
because i want a cute butt.
because i want to sit down and have my stomach still be flat.
because i don’t want to have a muffin top.
because i want to be a successful before and after picture.
because i want someone to think i’m pretty.
because i want to have...
I can’t take this. I really don’t know what I did to deserve this. All I do is love you, and want to be with you the rest of my life.
And now you’re mad. And coming over.
I thought maybe you’d change your mind and surprise me by coming over, but now you won’t even answer your phone.
You liked her picture.
Why would you do that? After everything we’ve been through & after telling me yesterday that she meant nothing to you. You liked her picture. And after I was on the phone with you, crying, telling you it hurt, what did you tell me? “It’s only a click”. Only a click? I’m crying my eyes out, and it was only a click? Obviously not to me. It hurt me. And after I asked...
Also.
My ex boyfriend decided to talk about my cutting publicly on Facebook yesterday. I don’t even know how to react.
I hate my thighs, I wish I could rip the fat out...
Just when I think everything's okay
It’s not. It never is. I don’t want friends anymore. I don’t want anyone anymore. I love my boyfriend and I feel like that’s all I need. Friends bring drama and drama brings stress. And if there’s one thing I don’t need, it’s stress. Because then the depression will set in. The ideas of cutting come back and I’ve made up my mind about doing it. I...
October 2011
39 posts
And now you don't even come to see me?
I don’t even know how to feel.
I hurt you?
Okay. I cried. In school.
Shaking.
My whole body aches
I can’t even move.
This will be my second big break up if he leaves me. But it will be my worst. I love him more than anything. I can’t lose him. I can’t live without him. I just can’t. He means the world to me. I don’t even know what I did to make him so mad but he won’t even tell me he loves me back. He’s so angry and he’s yelling and cursing at me, and I actually cried...
Every time I see pictures of cutting, I break
I am up way to late in my opinion anyway, which is not good for me and is not good for my mind. I can take the posts about wanting to cut, but it’s when I actually see it…it tears me apart. It makes me cringe and grab my wrist and feel worthless, like I have to do it again. I haven’t done it since the beginning of June. Almost 5 months. I plan on keeping it that way. But...
I can’t go to sleep without the sound of Jimmy’s voice. To bad he’s asleep
I treat people like they are my everything they...
Homecoming is this weekend…6 days away. I feel…excited? I don’t know, that’s how I’m supposed to feel, right? I’m a junior and this is my first homecoming. I even have a date. But I feel so disgusted with my body that I don’t even wanna get into the dress I got. I feel horrible. I wanna throw up. I think either way I’m gonna do that anyway cause I...
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I'm up & it's 4 in the morning.
I want to go to sleep but I can’t. I just can’t.
You don't need cuts to prove your hurting and you...
Watchdisasternoon:
i’m sorry. but i got emotional. and i personally felt the need to say something.
deleting this in a second. edited. not deleting (:
I got chills. Everyone needs to see this.
